“When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.”
– Wayne Dyer
I’m going to let you in on a little secret in life. The thoughts that you have about others are saying more about yourself than you ever knew. The judgments we pass are windows to our very own souls.
Sometimes I have this little problem where if someone doesn’t come across as a very charismatic person or perhaps has a bit of a guard up, I automatically look for a flaw; something that I can silently critique without having to share this thought with another soul.
My silent thoughts aren’t hurting anything right?, WRONG!
They may not be hurting the other person, but they are certainly hurting me.
– But that’s another post for another day.
As I’ve pondered a lot about how I became this girl when in high school I remember so easily being able to see good in everyone. It was as if it was a spiritual gift for me at that time to not pass judgment on anyone. Reflecting on this current terrible habit I have developed within I had an ah-ha moment. I love those!
I started to recognize that I didn’t love myself enough to validate my own strengths and talents. I was looking for empathy and sincere love from every individual I came across. If I didn’t receive this from an individual, I would whip out my sword and find a way to cut them down, even if they had no idea I was doing such a thing. They had no idea the thoughts I thought of them, but they were festering within me and creating such a burden both to my spirit and my health.
As I look back at those who I made such harsh judgments about and really allowed resentment to build up within, I think about how they are living a piece of life I am aspiring to live.
They are the ambitious,
successful,
confident ones.
The happy ones.
The ones I was simply aspiring to be.
I’m feeling more confident as the days go by, starting to see that I am capable of developing the gifts they have already developed (with much hard work I’m sure). Christ has lead me to see that I don’t need to cut others down to build myself up. Confidence and peace come from Christ. I don’t need validation from anyone, that’s the real secret. Christ is the one that fills my soul.
How often do we do that? Do we pass judgments because we aren’t able to validate ourselves? No one can fill your bucket if you don’t fill it with the love of Christ first.
Take a moment to look within and see if the negative thoughts you’re passing to other people are telling you something about your own soul. Be honest.
Honesty with ourselves is healing.
Honesty brings hope that leads to joy,
true joy that creates change
and change leads to Christ.
